


A lot

by Memefaego



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Accidents, Kissing, M/M, Masturbation, Sloppy Makeouts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 07:01:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20944262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Memefaego/pseuds/Memefaego
Summary: Heinz sets up a more scandalous trap causing an accident.





	A lot

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!

It started out as a fairly normal day for Perry Fletcher. He woke up around 9:30 and ate breakfast with his family. Just as the boys were starting to work on that days project, his watch beeped. He immediately pretended to check his phone and told the boys he was being called into work, and that Candace was in charge. 

As he slid down the tube to his lair he wondered what Doof could have in store for today. 

“Agent P! We have terrible news!”

What? Perry signed back

“Doof has done absolutely nothing today! Very suspicious, go check to make sure he’s not hiding anything!” MM said back much too enthusiastically. 

Perry rolled his eyes at Monograms usual antics and started making his way to the jet pack. After strapping it on he flew out of the tube leading to the lawn and made his way to Doof’s lair.

When he arrived he noticed it was dark, which was indeed suspicious. He quietly stepped in, only to be yanked off his feet by a rope triggered by a platform on the ground. Suddenly he was in the air, legs spread by ropes around his ankles, and arms mirroring the same thing above his head. The jerky motion causing his hat to fall to the ground and hair to ruffle a bit. He growls as the scientist emerges from the dark with a, “Well, well, well, Perry the Platypus.”

Perry lets out another chrr like growl and struggles with the ropes. He finds a loose string in the right hand of the rope, but patiently waits for Doofenshmirtz to monologue before doing anything. 

The teal haired man isn’t able to focus to much on the monologue, as he’s distracted by the scientist himself. His faced is tinged pink for some reason, and he keeps stuttering his words. Perry is starting to worry he might be sick, when the scientist reaches for a remote in his pocket to aim his turn-trees-dead-inator, which he’s doing to get back at Roger for planting a new group of trees right where Doof usually likes to people watch. Perry quickly yanks on the loose string, releasing his right hand. He pulls out his switch blade and cuts his feet free, grabbing onto the left rope so his shoulder doesn’t pop out of place. He quickly unties it and falls to the ground, landing gracefully. He tackles the éveil scientist to the ground, pinning his hands above his head and straddling him. He grabs the remote and surly enough there’s an extra button on it. The button is large and red and Perry quickly pushes it, and looks back at the inator as it explodes. He quickly lays his body over Doofenshmirtz’ to guard him from debris.

Perry pauses when he turns his head up and back to Heinz, he relishes in a sight he never thought he’d see outside of his dreams. Heinz is less than an inch away from his face and absolutely tomato red and wide eyed. Perry looks down at his surprisingly plump lips and then back up to his deep blue eyes. 

Before he can stop himself, Perry is pressing and soft kiss on Heniz’ lips.

When he realizes what he’s doing, his eyes shoot open and he jerks back. Doofenshmirtz is somehow even redder, and staring at him shocked.

“Perry the Platypus you-“ before he could finish Perry was gone, leaving Doof shocked and achingly hard.

^^^

Perry couldn’t sleep that night. As soon as he had gotten home he had gone up to his room, ignoring the kids for once, and laid down on his bed with the door locked. The more he thought about the kiss and the position and Heinz’ face, the harder and guiltier he got. He made a huge mistake. He could never face his evil scientist again! There’s no way he could get physical, tackling him and fighting him, without thinking about other things they could be doing.

Said “other things” kept racing through Perry’s mind, his brain getting fuzzier in thought as he got hornier and hornier. Before he knew it his zipper was down and he had his hands around his member.

After jerking off, while cleaning up, Perry felt the guiltiest he had ever felt. Did he really just do that? Jerk off to his nemesis? Ugh, now he REALLY can’t ever face Doof again.

^^^

Luckily Doofenshmirtz didn’t bother to invent, and MM didn’t bother to send agent P in. So it was all peaceful, that is until one fateful night in which Perry was struggling to sleep.

He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it at all. Straddling the skinny scientist, how soft his lips felt against Perry’s, everything that went down intoxicating the young man.

He knew he had to confront Doof. He just absolutely did NOT want to. Until it was getting to him so bad about a week later that he was unable to get sleep. 

That’s why, at 3 am, Perry the Platypus set out with his jet pack towards the DEI building. He nearly flew into a few skyscrapers and a couple light posts on the way there however, as he was still very distracted. He felt so much guilt over coming onto Heinz without his permission. There was no way he liked him back. They were nemeses after all! Sure Perry would take care of him while sick every now and again, or help plan Vanessa’s parties, or spend the holidays with him. That was different though! They had a strange friendship, but even friends didn’t straddle and kiss each other, and they especially didn’t jerk off thinking about each other

As he reached the DEI building, he pulled up on Doof’s porch and left his jet pack out there. He used his spare key to get in, not wanting to hurt their relationship any more than it already had been. The short man quickly made his way downstairs to Heinz’ apartment.

When he knocked, he didn’t get an answer. It was now 3:16 so that was no surprise to Perry. He quickly and quietly unlocked the door and snuck inside, or so he thought. When he turned around after relocking the door, he was faced with a kitchen knife in an outstretched hand. He quickly disarmed the foe without realizing who it was. As the knife clattered on the ground and he locked eyes with his opponent, they both broke out into a blush. 

“Perry?” Red as a tomato, Perry let go of Heinz Doofenshmirtz and backed off against the door quickly.

“Perry the Platypus! Thank God! I thought you had gotten a new nemesis! I thought you hated me now and I’d never! Never-” he turned even redder.

Never what Doof? Perry signed, using the name sign he’d given Heinz years ago.

“Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Did you want something to drink?”

Doof I came here to apologize, and leave. I know you’re probably uncomfortable having me here anyway. I just want to say, sorry I just want- Perry started tearing up.

“Perry, Perry! Perry it’s okay! I should be the one saying sorry! You probably could tell I was regretting setting up the trap like I did and felt pressured to act! This is my fault!”

Pressured to- no! I didn’t feel pressured! I ki-kissed you because I wanted to! Period! End of story!

“You- you wanted to? Perry the Platypus what are you saying?”

I like you Doof. A lot

Heinz turned bright red at this. Then he got a determined look on his face and stepped forward, grabbing behind Perry’s head and pulling him on his tip toes while Doof leaned down and connected their lips. It was soft at first, gentle as Heinz waited for Perry to act. Perry quickly realized what was happening and what this mean. He smiled into the kiss and then wrapped his arms around Heinz. He put one hand in Doof’s messy hair and wrapped his fingers tightly around the strands. Doofenshmirtz’ mouth opened a bit as his head was pulled back and Perry deepened the kiss. 

They both fought with their tongues until they found a synchronized and methodical rhythm. Perry started pushing Heinz towards the couch and they fell over the side, laughing a bit.

“I guess it goes without saying, I like you back a lot.” Heinz finally said.


End file.
